According to esteemed uniform watchdog uni-watch.com, the Los Angeles Clippers’ new uniforms, or at least the working proposals, have been leaked. Along with the actual updated logos and uniforms, the leak included some ridiculous high-level marketing word salad from the design company that developed the rebranding. And in true 2014-15 Clippers fashion (such as pretty much any time anyone on the team gets called for a foul), I’m now going to relentlessly complain about it.
The first note from the developers is in regard to color scheme:
“The creative team began with Clippers Red and Royal, and added Black to the palette as a primary color. Incorporating black injects youthful energy and edge, and evolves the Clippers Brand without abandoning the franchise’s core character.”
Oh, you mean the youthful injection didn’t occur when the team signed Hedo Turkoglu to a two-year contract? As far as color scheme goes, I don’t know why certain teams with baby blue history (Clips and Kings come to mind) don’t revert to it on a permanent basis. Ironically, however, I’d prefer if the one team that does have baby blue as a primary color (the Nuggets) would abandon that look for the old school uniforms with the rainbow skyline. But what do I know? I own one pair of jeans and six hooded sweatshirts. The best thing I can say is that the black uniforms aren’t terrible. Maybe the youthful energy will come from Spencer Hawes sporting this jersey and looking like an AAU player with an out-of-whack pituitary gland:
Next, let’s listen to the professionals talk about their word choice.
“Moving forward, the Clippers should use “LA” in reference to the City of Los Angeles rather than “Los Angeles.” Using the colloquial “LA” will resonate in a profound way with a younger demographic. Not only does this rule differentiate and elevate the Clippers from other Los Angeles sports franchises, it empowers the LAC design element with a verbal communication standard.”
More outreach to the kiddos. “Los Angeles, what’s that?” asked the child. “It’s just another name for ‘LA,’ yo,” said his biddy. “Ah, ‘LA’ got dat.”
As stupid as that sounds, the next part of the marketing slide must be for the MBA crowd because that’s not the simple English language that I know and love. Again, I’m not sure what “LA” in a weird font gives you other than a really claustrophobic logo:
Finally, we have a new primary logo:
Here’s what the caption reads:
“Symmetry and wide open structure define this mark, alluding to the agility of basketball players. Classic and balanced, projecting a modern identity, a new era. The sweeping lines allude to the horizon as seen from the bridge of a ship, signifying the Los Angeles Clippers steering boldly forward into the future.”
Dear God. At first I was worried that even an obscenely rich guy like Steve Ballmer might be a little “cash poor” after shelling out $2 billion for an NBA team. Hence the need to cut corners on the new uniform concept. Now I’m thinking these guys are just getting paid by the word. A bunch of smart people sitting around a board room pontificating about what nonsense they can say about an uninspired design that sounds the least like inane reaching. Well good job, good effort, Suits. They could have just gone with, “the sweeping lines are reminiscent of our opponents’ grimacing lips after Chris Paul punches them in the crotch. And the oppressive all CAPS “CLIPPERS” text reflects our good owner yelling like he’s cheering on a candidate in a close Balkan election.”
So all in all, the best things for the Clippers are happening on the court right now. I guess that’s pretty refreshing.
Color Scheme: B
Explanatory Branding Mumbo Jumbo: D-
(Thanks again to uni-watch.com for the breakdown.)